What if you are angry and you can’t tell the person that something they did or said hurt your feelings? What if it sits inside your head and you think about it all day and you still have not been able to communicate your feelings?

First of all, what might stuffing your angry feelings do to your anger? I’m sure you would say that your anger would grow stronger and stronger until you felt like letting it rip. Secondly, what does stuffing angry feelings inside do for the person who hurt you? Nothing at first because you haven’t let it rip yet, but is it fair to hold back and not tell someone when they have wronged you and allow your pressure cooker feelings to grow stronger and stronger?

Passive aggressive behavior means that you are holding back some bad feelings and you do not have the courage to confront the person or the feelings so you stuff them inside and let them grow. When the person who wronged you least expects it, you lash out at them with something that may not even pertain to why you are angry with them in the first place. In other words, you hide your true feelings, but you get them in an aggressive anyway.

Passive aggressive behavior can be very subtle. For example, you tell your best friend that you are on a diet and she brings you in your very favorite box of dark chocolates the next day. OR passive aggressive behavior can show itself a little stronger while still making yourself appear innocent. You arrive late to a dinner party because you are angry with the hostess, you find fault with something they did or said other than what made you angry, and you use sarcasm, guilt or excessive teasing. The list could go on and on, but the point is it is a coward’s way of expressing himself. You do not have the courage to communicate assertively, so you go behind the scenes and “slide one in” when you get the chance.

Passive aggressive behavior is not a great behavior to own, but you don’t have to own it any longer. You can learn to communicate your feelings with confidence. When you are ready to learn how to communicate those stuffed feelings, visit AngerManagementOnline.com and begin to attack those bad feelings when they start.
 

Back to Article Index